As a second grade teacher, I am constantly telling these kids what to do.  I just hope it is focused on the right things.  I focus a lot on their behavior and it feels like that takes away from instructional time.  I know we can't have learning before the former.  It is so frustrating for me and I feel so disorganized.  I am sick of going back and forth--thinking of details to add last minute.  This is tiring and less efficient than it could be.

Some of this can be helped.  I know the drill now, and can be ready with back up plans for times when I need a high quality filler.  It seems like go, Go, GO!!!  How do I give pause for them to process while not allowing for goofing off?  I can't stand how several of them take opportunities to go off task and chit chat, play, or ask me irrelevant questions.

Thankfully, the main thing that they will remember is my care for them.  I remember no instruction from second grade--only my out of this world teacher.  Do I also give this to my students?  Many of them give me loving feedback, even after days of reprimand.  I still feel like a harping witch.  My second grade teacher was so much nicer.  Then again, we did our work, with maybe one kid who didn't do it well, but he still did it and didn't dare go off task.  My memories don't fail me, yet they do me no good.  I'm here now, with this group, and there it is.  

Thank goodness for this volunteer that comes in once a day.  I hate to admit a former prejudice, but I had no idea an eighty-something could be so on those kids and effective in getting them to practice.

For all the times I stand in confusion as someone goes in and shoots up a place, I also stand in awe at people like my grandparent volunteer, without whom I probably would have quit by now.

So, here was just some venting that I couldn't do under my real name, nor could I bring home for fear of being told to "leave the job" just because I don't always love it.  One day of this job is more than I could write down in one hundred entries. 

Next year will be much more effective, and I hear the group is a dreamboat.  It's weird how certain years' "crops of children" carry positivity and some, lots of loaded badness.

I look forward to better days while still enjoying some things about my dear devils now. I'll do what I can. Until next time.